No matter how many nights that you lie wide awake

I found the motivation thief but it didn't have my motivation anymore. It also explained a lot of other things I've been experiencing for a while but paid no attention to:

  • no appetite 
  • feeling more fatigue than usual
  • hardness to concentrate
  • dizziness 
  • general sleepiness, etc. 
Guessed it already? Yeah, iron deficiency anemia. Ah. Now I'll be popping some serious vitamin c and iron supplements. Apparently it also causes tinnitus, which makes me happy, cause it might mean that I after all have not listened to music too loud (Take that, dad!). We'll see!

I've been listening to a lot of 30 Seconds To Mars lately. It's one of those bands that I either can't stand or absolutely love, depending on my mood. And even when I'm in absolutely love them mode, they seem kind of emo-ish. Maybe I can handle that.

My adventures today included a trip to the library (have I ever said I love libraries but I rarely go to them? Well, I love libraries. I want to read everything.) where I got some stuff for my Finnish literature/language class... and then I already read it. Oh well!
I also broke my tradition of not buying clothes in a million years and found some really nice bargains. Have I ever told you guys I love bargains? Well, I lo-... wait, I think you already know how this one goes.

The nasty thing about spending money is the fact that you lose it when you spend it. Isn't that sad? Even though all most of what I bought was absolutely essential to my well-being  (okay well maybe I didn't need another skirt but it was pretty and cheap, give me a break now.....) my soul still cries a bit on the inside of my suddenly not so full bank-account.
Fortunately I am pretty good at denying things from myself so I rarely have to regret what I've bought. Now I'm just a teensy weensy bit bitter that I had to leave a nice fall/winter coat in the store but I already have a nice coat... or that's what I'm going to tell myself.

I have a lot of pictures of my daily life on my sometimes-working-phone but I'm too lazy to upload them on my computer. Another unfortunate thing in my life.

Also, I've come to realize some of my texts might seem whiny and my attitude towards life fairly negative but I assure you, this is not the case. You just have to imagine me saying most of these whiny things in a bit sarcastic/amused tone, and if you're not used to sarcasm being used in a text.. well, here's a great way to learn!

PS. I added readers & blogloving gadgets cause I'm so vain ;3 Only took me like two years, too.


Cursing, crying and drawn out fights

Lost: My motivation
Last seen: Beginning of September, maybe?
Hints and sightings, please inform me ! I'm deeply missing my motivation.
Also, living without it makes life a hell lot more dull.
A reward to one(s) bringing it back to me or getting me a new one!

How is it even possible that I feel like I'm busy and bored by the same things and at the same time? It's the middle of October already. Whoosh.

I'm trying to remark the positive aspects of my life more. For example, friends I can laugh with. Sometimes who I can laugh at, too. I've also rediscovered long lost loves in the music area, like this:

and this:

(I realize the links are all crooked and don't really fit the frame but heyyy, the music is the important part, not the video :3)

Also, I'm cravingggg for new things to listen to. I have a broad taste in music so any hints are warmly welcomed ♥


My girl

Last few days have passed while listening to bad good music (I always listen to good music :3), seeing friends, laughing at stupid things and dancing to a song called v.i.u (one more way of Korean boybands mocking the fact that I have no one who calls me their baby) and sleeping at random times.

And now I'm going to list a few things that annoy me! Yay for lists.

#1: My hair.
I've been dreaming of long hair for a few years now but I'm not too patient with it. My unfortunate adventures as blonde going brunette going blonde again killed half of my already scarred ends and forced me to cut my hair shorter. This happened again half a year later when I realized that I haven't cut my hair in forever and found countless split ends and other horrifying deformed mutations of hair. Also I thought it would be a great idea to cut my bangs back, considering I almost never wear bangs anyway. Great job, me, great job. My solution to the problem has been don't kill hair. It's starting to work slowly. Too slowly.
Grow, hair, grow!
Also, another issue I have with my hair is that I can't do anything to it (I mean curls, fancy hairdos and all that stuff). Here's what I worked closer to 40 minutes on:
Guess what happened as soon as I got to the city?
My hair was straight as raw spaghetti.

#2: My phone.
Most of my friends with Nokia's have been complaining how crappy they are and how they're not working properly. Thus far I've been able to avoid the situation and I've been prancing around in a happy go lucky - state, chanting "My phone has been working GREAT! I love my phone! ^___________________^ Cotton candy and other cute stuff!"
If only I could still do that. First I noticed that the front camera I never use anyway doesn't work because the lense has fallen from its place (I know.). This didn't bother me at all cause I never even use the stupid thing anyway.... Except for the fact that now the other lense refuses to work properly and I can't use the video record thingie anymore.
ANGER. FRUSTRATION. I WANT TO THROW THE STUPID THING TO THE GROUND TO MAKE IT WORK. I know that I mainly need my phone to be able to text and call but if you give me a fancy phone with functions like video recording, I MIGHT AS WELL WANT TO USE IT.

#3: The weather.
It's horrid. Windy, Cold as hell (Gosh I love oxymorons) and it get's dark before midnight. This does not fly with me.

#4: I have no idea what I'm going to do after high school.


Thank you.


Pay attention, I'm important.

You remember how I claimed this blog to be a completely boring, normal blog? Yeah, forget I ever said that, apparently I didn't bother enough to find out what a "normal" blog is... Or if that's the word to describe half the blogs I've stumbled onto today, with everyone being sure their top and leggins - combinations are a definite eye catcher and a sure way to be nominated as "the fashion queen."

I might have overexaggerated, but just a little. I am officially a bit horrified by youth (cause obviously I'm more of a dusty, ancient not-even-20-yet relic, you know) but hopefully I've just seen some of the worst victims of today's "my blog will make me famous, I KNOW everyone wants to know how much my socks cost :)" - philosophy.

Or then I might be a bit angry that I might've done a bit worse in my english exam than I was expecting to do. Keeping my fingers crossed however.

Besides this morning I actually told dad everything's fine and nice at the moment. Ha ha, destiny. Very funny to bite my ankles when I make the mistake of declaring you my love.

Also, I stumbled across a few blogs that had travel entries of the writes visiting places such as Paris and London and taking the traditional London Eye - pictures and snapshots of the Eiffel tower, and I decided that when I'm finally getting my ass up from my comfy bed and visit either one of those places, I want NOTHING of the "must see" tourist attractions. Or well, maybe one or two at tops (Eiffel tower =♥) but that's it.

I'm having a terrible urge to spend a lot of money on things I don't really need right now. Or ever. Gosh.

P.S. You should definitely read this blog (if you aren't already, PS THERE'S A LINK, I'm not trying to make you read mine again) 'cause it's awesome and I'm telling you to do so.


Forced to admit they are wrong

My hair smells like someone would have been smoking in my general company, even though I think the last time such a thing has happened was ages ago, and otherwise my skin smells like this lovely new celebrity fragrance some lovely young lady pushed into my hand when I was walking about today. I think I might be forced to buy such a thing, it really does smell delicious.

I forgot my camera at my parents' and now I feel orphaned. Also, I am extremely tired but unwilling to start sleeping.

Tonight I had a really good moment. It included two of my favorite girls and laughing at stupid awesome stuff such as the literal trailer of assassin's creed - game (we know it by heart now). I had the feeling of belonging somewhere. You know how much I've longed for such a feeling?

Also, I probably should start filling these posts with random cute pictures cause even I get bored of reading my stuff.

The word of the day is hyperbole. I quite love it.