Nothing to do, nothing to say

Hey, guess what! My pictureblog is dead cause I'm a lazy son of the beach and I'm way too busy spacing out laying on my bed to do anything about it.

This is why I think it is time for me to RENOVATE my current situation with le blog and this is what I've decided (I'm sure you all who bothered to check my blog are atleast pretending to be excited)

Slow Currents is going to be A RIDICULOUSLY BORING NORMAL BLOG! Yay!

And I don't mean normal blog as in "hey I bought this shirt from H&M and this mascara yesterday, and I think my style is very fashionable and you should all praise me as a GOD" - blog, but as in a blog perfect for anyone who wants to know what was the very first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning (for the record, I can't even remember such thought myself). That was actually a lie, too.

This is a perfect blog for me to record my crazy dreams, thoughts about lipbalm and sometimes whine why my perfect future husband hasn't found me yet when I'm sitting in front of my computer all day. What joy. I think I might even use pictures sometimes, if I feel adventurous!

So I am NOT going to tell you everything I've bought and how good discounts I've gotten (I am a bargain hunter but really.)

Trust me, I had the LONGEST time contemplating what the hell to do with this thing. I kind of like blogger, not willing to go back to LiveJournal anymore (oh yea, I had those days), totally too lazy to make a new blog/tumblr/twitter or whatever, and SC is laying here as a half dead carcass that's really not pleasing to anyone's eye.

And you know, sometimes I just really get these huge urges to pour my heart out somewhere (maybe I should just get a diary and spare you all the angst) but then I stop because, Oh, I don't want to tell strangers what I think about the Universe, religion or money. Or what mascara I used the morning before. Or how no one loves me.

So, here we go!

Where did this come from?

I really don't know when someone came up with the idea of "owning the day" ever to contradict it or to blame a bad day on the day not being someone's, but today certainly has not been my day.

I'll spare the details because they are not that important and you probably wouldn't care and if I listed them they probably wouldn't seem like problems at all, but you know, I have my right to feel

absolutely worthless and miserable every once in a while.

It's really the kind of moment where I would just love to curl up in a ball and cry for mommy. Too bad she's in Estonia right now, and I'm a big girl, and I'm not supposed to let things get to me.

And this whole evening being bad didn't even compile of everything just crashing at once, I promise. It started with little things adding to other little things and causing some things to not happen and others to happen in a wrong amount of time.

I feel like a loser tonight, hope it won't last for too long.

I'm automatic

I feel weird. Kind of out of place. Out of place is a good way to describe it.

You know the feeling of suddenly being reminded of someone who at one point of time was very dear to you, so dear that you never actually just realized HOW dear (because you never actually had an official thing), but who you really aren't in contact anymore and who

is not a part of your life anymore? Say you're walking to your room at 23:02, your mind does the shuffle thing of going through several things at once and BAM. All of a sudden you miss someone so much you could cry or yell.

Deal with that, then.

Lately I can't listen to music so loud. Partly because there are others living here too, and I don't want to be considered the rude neighbor, but also because every time I turn the volume up, it starts hurting my ears and I have to tone it down. I used to love blasting my music up the roof, so to speak.

The smoke coming from Russia is making the air a bit foggy but I'm not staring too much out of my windows right now so it's not an issue. I don't actually even know why I told you that. The picture isn't related to it tho, that's above clouds and fog.

Still, out of place. Maybe it's just one of those months.

... Yeah. hi.

Want to know a secret? The internet is too open for me to be private and honest.

It's true. I create all these different accounts to different medias to bare a piece of my soul to a stranger and then I realize I don't want strangers to know me. I also allure myself to believe I'm only doing so to express myself and to have a healthy outlet for the things I feel, but heeeck. I don't want you to know everything. If I'm only doing this for myself, anyway, am I not free to write whenever I feel to do so?

Then at times I feel like I need to say things to SOMEONE and so I create mr./ms. Smith who appreciates my thoughts and my views on life and isn't too upset I only update about once in two months and things 'tis a nice way to spend five minutes while drinking green tea with honey.

Or something like that.

Yeah, all these account for lazy excuses of too bored and tired to write or update this since the beginning of May. Oooopsay :3

So what did I do during the few months? Meh, nothing much. Visited friends and family in Missouri (soaking hot, I'm telling you) and created movie stories inside my head.

I also shared things with my relatives (which I later regretted a bit, I'm not sure if I want them to know too much about me either), brought soda-flavored lipsmackers to some of

my friends and ran conversations in my head (most of them ended up with me either being upset or laughing at my stupidity.)

I've also lately wished I'd have a secret twin, once again, one who'd want to share everything with me and who'd stay up all night with me, talking about random stuff.

But everyone has their secret twin already, or if they don't, they seem to be content with the fact and leave it be.

On top of that I've been imagining and visualizing my dream man. Needless to say, not the most realistic thing (Ed Westwick, be mine?) but I have fun with it anyway. I mean I'm

sure I'm not the only one in this world who wishes they'd have some underground movie d'awwww-scenes in life, every once in a while. Not too often, obviously.

I've spent way too much money and I NEED new good music. I'd also like a new, bigger iPod, but since my old one is working fine I'm not willing to spend anymore (of someone else's) money to get a new version. I'll just bite my tongue and enjoy little things in life. Like soap bubbles, cute rings and shimmering eyeshadows.

And shoes. Definitely shoes.

I only have one picture I'd like to show you right now, but I hope you like fireworks. I sure don't.

April in pictures

There's something extremely beautiful and calming about the lights of the amusement park I can see from my window. It's 20:49 / 8:49pm and it's not even close to dark yet so they do look kind of funny but that's not the point. No matter how much I dislike the general idea of amusement parks (pay yourself to death to wait hours for three minute rides and buy expencive goodies from their local stores while you're at it) I do find seeing it from a distance soothing. And I for one have always loved cotton candy you can buy there.


I've also had a lot of social life lately, which I find very nice. People actually call me these days! They want to see me! I also get a lot of hugs, kisses and all that sort of cute stuff from my friends, do you have any idea how happy that makes me?


I'm addicted to a drug called life mixed with love and caring. If I weren't, I'd probably hook myself up with drugs or alcohol, but to be honest I prefer it this way. Smiles come easily.

Obviously there's a turnside to the coin. I've been extremely tired lately and most of my school days go by with me sitting in the hallways looking at other people and blasting music through my headphones, thus growing bored of nearly everything I have on my iPod. A shame.

My sister's a dork. I love her. :3


I've had a lot of good, deep talks with some of my friends and my mom lately. It's all very nice. Now I just need to find a good, deep direction for my life to go to. I still have time, I hope.

Did you guys know I love SayCet? Well, now you do.

Oh and need I remind you, the photos are all mine.

dear people of the world

I love this song.

Another lesson in love

Oops, another month break. I've heard a few comments about this, sorry.
I do have stuff I want to talk about but everytime I have the feeling I wish I could update this, I'm either in class or in the midst of doing something else. Everytime I sit infront of my computer I completely forget about everything I was supposed to write about and start going through something like weheartit and... well, then I don't update.

I have to be on my way to school in a minute or so, but I thought I'd write this here and continue it later (tomorrow or maybe friday or saturday. Or maybe in a month !)
I'm the worst kind of perfectionist. I say don't care what others think of me (apart from my mom and my closest friends) and I usually don't bother trying to impress people, but man, I get crazy if I feel like I've failed myself. I always think "I can do better than this". My worst enemy is myself... and my unrealistic expectations about myself.
It's a bitch, I tell you. I realize I'm not really even close to fat, but I wish I was thinner; I realize a satisfying grade is not bad, but I wish I had done better - and in the mean time I spend my days absent minded and completely unfocused. I need to fix my focus and relax myself.

On a lighter note, I love life. Toodles ♥