Don't know what to say

You know the feeling when you justify the lack of something in your life by saying "I have things to focus on and I don't need these other things because they would only lead me astray"?
you know the feeling when you prepare for something big and basically plan your daily life around it?
Then suddenly it's over. Done. Gone. And you feel relieved... for a while.
After a while, it just starts feeling empty.
And the bunch of shit that piled up earlier just crashes because you don't have to push them off your mind anymore. Currently my mind is quite the hurricane.

I bribed myself for being such a good sport about the matriculation exams. I bought some makeup so I can feel really pretty every once in a while.

I'm completely bummed about my (lack of) love life these days. I saw four good looking guys today (really, really good) and became a bit more bummed out. Oh welll, maybe there's time. And I don't mean I can't enjoy being single. I just get a teensy weensy bit jealous when I see cute couples walking hand in hand.
And I get a little bit sad when I look outside and realize it's the perfect weather to cuddle with a cup of hot chocolate and then realize I have no one to cuddle with.
And when I see the cutest watch ever and my friend says it's the kind of watch you get with a boyfriend so they match, or the kind that the guy gets you for a present. That's when I'm a bit sad I don't have a boyfriend.

And it's not like my check list for a guy is TOO impossible!
I mean, I'd like the guy to

  • catch my attention (aka please be pretty and dress nice)
  • have confidence in yourself every once in a while. Being shy is cute but there is a limit.
  • have a little bit of romantic in them (I'm not asking for serenades, I'd just like to walk hand in hand in public and I don't know, get a flower every once in a while. Or chocolate if I'm craving for it)
  • have a little attitude (not "I'll break your face/ your mom's face/ the wall/ everything because I'm so freaking bad ass" but like... not give in to EVERYTHING. And maybe make me blush sometimes.)
  • wanting to go somewhere in life and be prepared to work for it (not "I don't need edumacation, I'm going to be a rock star and really famous". For real.)

That's not too much to ask, is it? It is?
FML, I'm going to end up staying single for the rest of my life.

Also, I'm starting to wonder if I actually get crazy around full moon.


Mock Abduction

So I survived the dentist's appointment with "...well there's nothing here, everything's fine" - line (thank you, thank you) and I even survived the weekend without getting sick, even though mom did cough in my general direction awfully lot. I also survived today's english matriculation examination, I think. It was quite the challenge, all the texts were from magazines such as Time etc., so the level of vocabulary... well, I think it's safe to say you don't need to use words such as dubious and coup in your everyday language. Gosh darn petty details.

Grimmer news, my grandfather died last night and it hasn't really hit me yet.


Me and my magic pony

This week has had a lot in it, and it's only Tuesday. It has included sitting alone in a coffee house with a hot chocolate and a bunch of school books, me being busy trying to absorb everything there is to absorb about Swedish, walking around the city with a friend, discussing the looks (or rather, the lack of looks) people wear, dining sushi, laughing with people rather than at people, smiling at strangers smiling at me, hugs and thoughts of all the wonderful things I would buy if I had enormous amounts of money.
This week has also included me stressing about my matriculation examination, turning and shifting uncomfortably and tired in my bed without being able to fall asleep, stress, anxiety about certain aspects of my love life (what love life?), feeling myself ineligible and repulsive and worrying if I'll ever be enough.

And this week is - or well, the couple of next days are - going to be hectic anyhow, highlight being my dentist's appointment on Thursday. Oh, the horror. Oh, the terror. Maybe I'll survive. If I didn't, you'll know why I died.

Also, my sense of feeling empathy on behalf of total strangers is overwhelming me lately. Was it being pisces or just being me, whatever it is, sometimes it's really hard to handle.
Sometimes I wish I were a cold bitch. But that's only sometimes. Most of the time I don't mind being over emotional. I guess.


Bounce, bounce, bounce, baby, you & me

I have a bad habit of either doing something too much or too little.
I've been slacking on exercising lately so today I worked out my corset muscles and arms while watching cutesy videos of Billy Boyd talking on his GODLY accent of Scotland, Orlando Bloom giving a kiss to Viggo Mortensen's cheek and generally just all things squeal, including one of my hugest celebrity crushes. You can guess who he is (and no, I didn't mention his name on this blog entry).
Anyway, I was talking about overdoing. My arms are shaking and my abdominals are undergoing some serious pain caused by my sudden use of them.

From subject B to subject Herpetology, I have to go to school tomorrow and it's freaking Saturday but what do you do.

Also, never go to bed without combing out your hair unless you're trying to grow dreads. Last night, all I did was go straight to bed without combing my TEASED UP PUFFY BUN hairdo, and oh my Dude, did I (mentally) scream in agony of my hair the next day. I was literally pleading and begging my hair to forgive me for my ruthless abandonment. I practically drained it conditioner and aftercare products just now, all while whining "I'm so sorry baby don't hate meeeeeee ;;__;;"

Yeah. So how was your day?


March of the ZZZ-letters

For a reason unknown the streets of Helsinki have been filled with gorgeous and unbelievably cute guys lately. Either they just appeared from somewhere, all at the same time, or my eyes have magically opened to see at least one a day (I used to complain there are none here. Shhhhhhhh I know I'm picky and have really weird beauty standards), but whatever the reason it makes me happy.
And kinda sad. I don't have the courage and self confidence to strike up a random conversation with a (handsome) stranger, so usually the situation just makes me kind of get whiny on the inside. Like I'm looking at them with eyes pouring hearts and lower lip threatening to fall off and hit the ground (which of course is not obvious looking itself, me going (~3~) like this) and after they pass I spare a moment or two mentally writing epilogues of me dying alone.
But also happy, of course. I mean I love looking at good looking people. Hehe.

The autumn has arrived. How do I know? Oh let me count thee the ways... No. But I'll tell some anyway.
First, the wasps have become freaking insane. They're buzzing EVERYWHERE to make sure they scare me off throughly before dying off. (Mind you, wasps are possibly the two or three most scariest thing I' have in my life.)
Second, I'm freaking tired, and all the time. My mental clock is starting to prepare me for a freaking hibernation.
And third (I have more ways but I'm keeping it simple), it's September. Duh.

I just woke up from my one hour nap a while ago, and I'm feeling really dizzy. I was supposed to do a freaklotmuch of Swedish tonight, but I think I'm just going to go get in my pajamas and doze off again.


Nothing to do, nothing to say

Hey, guess what! My pictureblog is dead cause I'm a lazy son of the beach and I'm way too busy spacing out laying on my bed to do anything about it.
This is why I think it is time for me to RENOVATE my current situation with le blog and this is what I've decided (I'm sure you all who bothered to check my blog are atleast pretending to be excited)

Slow Currents is going to be A RIDICULOUSLY BORING NORMAL BLOG! Yay!

And I don't mean normal blog as in "hey I bought this shirt from H&M and this mascara yesterday, and I think my style is very fashionable and you should all praise me as a GOD" - blog, but as in a blog perfect for anyone who wants to know what was the very first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning (for the record, I can't even remember such thought myself). That was actually a lie, too.
This is a perfect blog for me to record my crazy dreams, thoughts about lipbalm and sometimes whine why my perfect future husband hasn't found me yet when I'm sitting in front of my computer all day. What joy. I think I might even use pictures sometimes, if I feel adventurous!
So I am NOT going to tell you everything I've bought and how good discounts I've gotten (I am a bargain hunter but really.)

Trust me, I had the LONGEST time contemplating what the hell to do with this thing. I kind of like blogger, not willing to go back to LiveJournal anymore (oh yea, I had those days), totally too lazy to make a new blog/tumblr/twitter or whatever, and SC is laying here as a half dead carcass that's really not pleasing to anyone's eye.
And you know, sometimes I just really get these huge urges to pour my heart out somewhere (maybe I should just get a diary and spare you all the angst) but then I stop because, Oh, I don't want to tell strangers what I think about the Universe, religion or money. Or what mascara I used the morning before. Or how no one loves me.

So, here we go!